Production studio "Soyuzmultfilm" Moscow, 1957
In a Certain Dining Hall...
screenwriter Yak. Ziskinda director Grigoriy Lomidze
camera I. Golomb, art directors G. Kozlov, V. Vasilenko, composer E. Kolmanovskiy
sound Boris Filchikov assistant montage V. Yegorova
chief designer of puppets & decor R. Gurov, decorator G. Miroshkin
puppeteers A. Zorin, V. Kusov, I. Mazing, V. Zakrevskiy,
N. Gzhelskiy, L. Martyanova, T. Linnik, L. Zvyagina, P. Yakushev
voice actors S. Samodur, A. Volgina, M. Mironova,
S. Anikeyev, N. Merkulova, L. Pirogov, N. Ter-Osipyan
V. Baharev, A. Terehina Yu. Hrzhanovskiy, A. Sakhnovskiy
production director Natan Bitman
Comrades, here's what I want to say, comrades! What do I want to say?..
Ah... I want to say that catering is no laughing matter, comrades.
It is, comrades, a serious business!
It is time to, once and for all, tear women away from the stove,
pull them out of the kitchen...
So I... - Yes, but sometimes people's words don't align with their deeds.
Let us now show you the dining hall supervised by the current orator.
From the outside, the dining hall looks like any other on the streets of this city.
But... On second thought, judge for yourselves.
- Tell me, what's this?
- What d'ya mean "what's this"?
Beefsteak "au naturel". If you don't like it, go to another dining hall.
- Are you disturbing the peace, citizen?
You will answer for this.
- And who will answer for the fake steak?
Disgraceful! Where is the manager?
You have, of course, noticed that these are not real people,
but puppets that are playing out a very true-to-life story.
Oh, Zhora, my driver...
A happy man, that's what you are,
You live a life of paradise.
If someone else was your boss, you'd be driving around and bustling.
But with me, you are a king! Tshsh...
Silantiy Savelyich, it's time to go to the warehouse for supplies. - Time for what?
Don't you see, here's a man trying to catch some fish,
and you're disturbing him... with official business...
We'll have time to get the supplies tomorrow.
Siloshka!
Oh no, not her!
Siloshka! Someone called you. Someone called you from the trust!
- From the trust?
- Some Committee will be inspecting the cafeteria!
- What?
Oh, Zhora, Zhora, wind up our fishing rods!
Produce Transport (Dining Hall no. 4)
Dining Hall No. 4
Oh, oh... oh, brothers, what a situation... an inspection!
A certain Gelka Blinova wrote that our cafeteria was dirty and had bad meals...
...someone's ringing... already...
The director of Dining Hall No. 4 on Sadovaya Street of the town catering trust,
Comrade Murmyzin, speaking!
- What? What? No, no, citizeness, this is not Vera,
this is a public institution. Dial your number more carefully in the future.
Have we got any clientele in there?
- We do. - There are five.
The devils must bring them. They only hinder our work.
What a disgrace, hurry them up!
Right away...
- Stop! Start tidying up at once!
Got it?! In half an hour the cafe should be glittering like on May 1!
Got it!
Stepan! How about your kitchen?
Where's Nikifor and Petka?
Well, the kitchen's in the kitchen, Silantiy Savelyich...
- Nikifor!
Nikifor Spiridonych!
- Hello! - What are you doing?
- Compote... - What compote?
- Compote, - What compote? Dim-wit! What?
Boiling it, Silantiy Savelyevich.
- I see.
- Where's the cook, Nikifor?
- Uncle Nikifor went to take a shower, Silantiy Savelyevich.
- He's bathing?
During working hours, disgraceful.
- Nikifor! Nikifor!
- What? - Stop bathing!
Urgent business! - Guests again, or some delegation?
- No, it's no mere delegation... Hurry, dear fellow, hurry.
Hurry! Wash off the soap!
- It's an inspection, you know.
- An inspection? - That's right!
- Dear fellow, prepare a single personal dinner!
- From what? - From meat, that's what!
- We're out of meat, and no new meat has been delivered.
Because you use the car for personal matters.
- Oh, heavens... then you just think of something, use your imagination.
My imagination... has run out.
Only emptiness is left.
Stop fooling people, we had a dining hall and now there's neither fish nor fowl.
Enough window-dressing, when the inspector comes, I'll tell him how things are.
- I'll tell you a thing or two... you dried fish.
None of that around here...
- OK, here's the plan. Zhora, hurry to my home. Tell my wife: "Silantiy Savelyevich will arrive
for his lunch after lunchtime, and tell her to send my lunch here.
Got that?
- Got it...
Seems in order.
- Come on, come on! Work! Don't be lazy, team!
Ah?! Just look at what this place was beginning to look like!
And so it began... it had been a long time since the walls of that dining hall had seen such comradely,
vigorous work.
[Wash your hands. Do not smoke.] [Wipe your feet. Do not litter.]
An urn is man's friend - spit at it.
Bon appetit
Look, one only needs to have the will, and everything start going well!
No worse than the "Wild Pansies" cafe.
True, it looks beautiful.
It should look like this every day, Silantiy Savelyich.
- What for? The inspection is not every day.
- And you, change your bathrobe and brush your hair. You look disgusting.
- You do not like it? Then go to another dining hall.
Oh! You would talk back to me?! Shameless woman!
- Sorry, my mistake.
I warn you, Nyushka, if you're rude to anyone in the next half hour,
you'll fly out of here like a cork!
- What's that?
There's no lunch today, good citizen!
- You're not letting me, a regular customer, inside?
- We're doing an inventory checkup!
- In-vent-ory check-up!
You want me to sing it to you?
- Old man, old man, let me in... to get a bite. Old man...
Old man, I can't do without it...
- Citizen, leave!
- Guvnor! I'm a regular! - Citizen, go outside!
You're a little tipsy...
- It's written here in plain Russian: "Closed for inventorying of dishes, knives and forks. --Administration"
- Pardon me!
- Alarm! Citizens! Alarm! Citizens!
- The committee is arriving! - Dear Lord, let us survive this!
- Drop everything!
Ugh! All in their places!
Hurry, hurry! Where is my coat? Where is the jacket?
Petka, Petka, Petka, quickly, into the kitchen!
Hurry, hurry!
- Come in, come in, we've been awaiting you for some time!
- Thank you, You'll bring me to the manager?
Yes, he is here, this way please.
- Ah, hello! - Hello!
- You've come to visit us? - Uh-huh.
- Delighted to see you. I'm the manager.
- Here, come in. Make yourself comfortable.
- You're most welcome,
- No, thank you, I'm full.
I would like to talk to you about a specific matter.
- Any matter is best started with a little bite. Here you are.
- Nyushka! That is (what am I saying)...
Angelina Petrovna! Quickly! Serve us!
- Mmm... But it looks so nice here! No worse than in the nearby cafe.
- Well, of course, we do strive for neatness...
- Well, what can I get you, my lady?
- Is Zhora back yet? - No.
- Ah... he really let me down... What am I to do?
Produce Transport
- Excuse me, you've got a little cotton on your shoulder.
Nothing to wonder at there; there's a summer breeze.
All sorts of fibers are floating in the air.
- Did you see Raikin* on TV yesterday? *renowned Russian comedian
Oh, how clever he is! - Oh why, oh why's life's so sad for a lonely guy?
He can't walk, he can't sit, He can't even simply lie.
He has lost his even keel, Life no longer seems so real,
Such an awful situation would bring anyone to heel...
There is no smoke without fire.
Isn't that so, yes...
Oh, I beg your pardon.
I must leave you. There's always something that I must be managing.
- That's quite all right. Go on.
What's this?
Oh! - That's not right!
- Hmm... right.
- What's gotten into you? - I got worried!
- Ooh... you tortoise!
- The lunch turned out well?
- See to it, or I'll fire you!
- Dang... you're throwing me off!
- Your favourite mushroom soup, Silan.
A chickabiddy, kisel...
- Uh-huh. Stepan, where are you?! Take this quietly into the kitchen.
And you Nyushka, will deliver it to the table.
And you sit right here.
- Petya, help me out!
I will go to that inspector and tell her the whole truth.
And now we will treat you to some soup.
Soup with mushrooms!
The people are delighted by it.
- Yes.
- Of course, there are individuals, that, how should one say it...
think too much of themselves...
Write complaints that other dining halls are better...
But our clientele appreciates us.
Nyushka! Er... Angelina Petrovna, what's keeping you?
Bring us the mushroom soup.
- Coming, coming!
- Here it is, the soup, joy of my life... please, take it!
- Yes, this soup is good...
- It certainly is! My wife cooks like a... I mean, even my wife doesn't cook like this.
Our cook, Nikifor Spiridonych, is an artist!
An honest-to-goodness artist.
-So... what shall I offer you for seconds?
- I know, I know: chicken!
- No, I do not want chicken.
I want something simpler; a cutlet.
Well, cutlets... minced meat... You never know what could be in it...
But a chickabiddy, now that's a hygienic foodthing.
Nobody can put any suspicious additives into it!
- Oh! This is looks delicious... Look here...
You've made me very happy with the quality of your food.
It's good cooking.
Very good. And it's so clean and pretty here.
Most importantly: the food's delicious.
I live near here and from this day on I will dine here every day.
You don't mind...?
Eh!... Yes... of course, I'd even be delighted...
And not alone, but with my whole family.
Ah!... Your whole family?!
- Well yes, all seven of them, - All seven?
Yes, there's seven of us. Moreover, since we've just moved
into a new building, and it is nearby, we could all be your patrons.
Our whole apartment building will come for lunch, but only on the condition
that you will serve all the tenants with such delicious lunches.
- Lunches like this for all the tenants?
- Yes.
- Comrade inspector, allow me to tell you the whole truth.
- But I'm not an inspector...
- What do you mean, not the inspector?
- Not... not the inspector?...
By what right then did you eat someone else's lunch?
Who then are you?
I am... how shall I put it... a sort of public control...
But from tomorrow on, we will assign you a representative
who will be on duty with you all the time, from morning to evening.
THE END Subs by Alevtina & Eus (2016), rev. Niffiwan (2023, animatsiya.net)